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Internal Family Systems 101

Navigating the roles and responsibilities that come with your 20s and 30s can be a constant juggling act. Some days you may feel you are easily able to manage your different roles and priorities, while on other days you may feel like you are in a constant state of internal tug of war trying to balance the competing priorities that come from school, work, or your relationships. As you attempt to balance these competing priorities and find a sense of purpose, it is natural to experience internal conflicts and feelings of uncertainty. The whirlwind of experiences and emotions that come with your 20s and 30s can leave you feeling stuck and in need of support in order to determine a path forward. Luckily, Internal Family Systems therapy can serve as a roadmap to understanding the complexity of your inner world.

We All Have an Internal System

Internal Family Systems were developed around the idea that we all have an internal system with parts that play different and important roles that help us navigate the world around us. Parts develop as a result of experiences, and relationships throughout one’s life. Each part has its own unique perspective, functions, and set of goals that can sometimes come into conflict with other parts of the internal system.

Our internal system is broken into three parts: the managers, the firefighters, and the exiles. Getting to know how these different parts work within your system is an integral part of the IFS process. Let’s break down how these parts navigate your inner world.

Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles… Oh My!

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Managers:

Managers are the responsible, organized parts of you that try to keep things under control. These are the parts of us that take charge, set goals, and ensure we keep up with our fast-paced lives. The ambitious career-seeker, the organized planner, the responsible adult – all these managers play a crucial role in helping us navigate all of life’s demands. However, the pressure to constantly excel or keep everything under control can sometimes lead to burnout or imbalance. IFS therapy encourages us to identify and nurture the manager parts while also making space for the other parts within us.

Firefighters:

Firefighters are the emergency responders of your internal world. They allow us to face challenges head-on, preventing us from feeling overwhelmed. Your Firefighters show up as those late-night Netflix binges after a long day at work, finding comfort in tasty foods when you’re feeling sad, scrolling through social media to avoid facing emotions, procrastination on challenging tasks, or even going out partying to escape from something deeper. While Firefighters are usually very helpful in managing painful emotions, the ways in which they help us navigate emotional challenges are not always sustainable.

Exiles:

Exiles are the vulnerable parts of you that hold on to past wounds. Exiles can be traced back to difficult emotional moments such as a painful break up, not making a sports team after a strenuous try out process, being criticized or judged by family members, past traumas, or other events that have affected your self-esteem. Exiles are usually the younger parts of us that hold onto feelings of being abandoned, judged, criticized, or put in harm's way. Engaging in IFS therapy helps us get to know the parts of us that protect these wounded subpersonalities, so we can develop an understanding of what these parts of us truly need in order to feel safe, and secure in the world around us.

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Big Self-Energy

At the center of your internal system lies the ‘Self’. Self is the core part of our system that serves as a compass to help us navigate through the maze of career choices, relationships, and personal aspirations. The Self is the grounded part of our system that is unaffected by our emotions, and our experiences. When we access Self-energy, we are able to approach the world with curiosity, clarity, and compassion. Getting to know the different parts of your internal world will help you make choices, and decisions from a place of self-awareness, empathy, and empowerment.

How Can IFS Help Me?

Navigating the challenges of your 20s and 30s requires intentional self-reflection, increased self-awareness, and effective tools for managing life’s stressors and internal conflicts. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model equips you with a valuable framework for accomplishing these goals. By embracing the concepts of the Self, understanding the roles of your parts and how they developed throughout your life, and cultivating qualities of compassion and curiosity, you can navigate the complexities of this transformative period with compassion, resilience, and a newfound sense of empowerment. Whether you're seeking to discover your identity, build meaningful and authentic relationships, work through anxiety or depression, pursue a fulfilling career, manage stress, make decisions, or heal from past wounds, IFS empowers you to lead a life guided by your true Self. As you integrate IFS principles into your day-to-day life, you'll find yourself better equipped to embrace the challenges and opportunities that your 20s and 30s can bring.

Begin the Journey to Understanding Your Inner World in IFS Therapy in Washington, DC, and Online in Virginia!

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant juggling act of life in your 20s and 30s? Do you find yourself in a tug of war between competing priorities from school, work, and relationships? It's completely natural, and you're not alone in this journey. Fortunately, there's a roadmap to understanding the complexity of your inner world through Internal Family Systems therapy. We all have an internal system composed of managers, firefighters, and exiles. Managers help us stay organized, but they can lead to burnout. Firefighters respond to challenges but may not offer sustainable solutions. Exiles hold onto past wounds. IFS therapy empowers you to navigate this complexity, discover your true Self, and make choices guided by self-awareness and compassion. Whether you're seeking to build meaningful relationships, manage stress, or heal from past wounds, IFS can be your guide. Reach out to The Sterling Group and schedule a session with our therapist Jessica Attas, LICSW, who is trained in IFS, or one of our other IFS-informed therapists. Your journey to self-discovery and empowerment begins now.

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Other Services at The Sterling Group

Our skilled therapists offer a range of services if IFS Therapy is not what you need. If you’re looking for support on an individual level, we offer Individual Therapy and Executive Function Support, as well as EMDR Therapy and IFS Therapy. We also offer Couples Therapy for those that are looking to grow in their relationships. Additionally, our therapists offer services online or in-person in Washington, DC, and Online Therapy in Virginia to cater to your schedule and make it as easy as possible for you to prioritize your healing. We would love to chat with you today about the ways we can support your growth in all areas of life!

Navigating Your Inner World: A DC Therapist’s Guide to IFS