5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem: Thoughts from a DC Therapist
Written By: Jane Lim, LGSW, LMSW
Listen, I get it. I’m right there with you. One of the most difficult challenges many of us face is struggling with self-esteem. When we struggle with it, it impacts the way we see and interact with the world.
While you might feel like there’s no linear path toward improvement, I promise that self-esteem is not just some innate ability possessed by the fortunate few. There are effective methods and strategies you can employ to work on yours, and as a self-esteem therapist in DC, I’m here to share a few of them with you.
Self-Esteem Therapy in DC
Here are five practices I’ve found in my work at The Sterling Group to be particularly helpful in improving self-esteem:
Write down three things you are proud of about yourself daily:
Now I totally get it, you are reading this blog in the first place because you may be struggling with your confidence and self-worth. So, I can understand how it may be difficult to identify your strengths and accomplishments. That being said, you are not doomed. Doing this simple exercise daily can help you practice recognizing the positive qualities you hold.
Think small. It doesn’t need to be this extravagant or extraordinary thing in order for you to be proud of it. The source of pride can be as simple as “I’m proud of getting out of bed this morning,” or “I’m proud of setting aside time to eat a nourishing lunch, even during a busy work day.” You can also express pride with your identity “I am proud to be a woman,” qualities within yourself “I’m proud that I’m funny,” what you do for yourself/others ``I'm proud of myself for volunteering this week,” and so on, the list is limitless! In time, you will have a whole compilation of things to look back on when you are in need of a reminder of just how worthy and enough you are!
Create and FOLLOW a routine:
There have been many studies that show there are numerous benefits to following a routine. Routines allow us to have structure and create a sense of security by taking away the ambiguity of needing to make a decision. It also allows you to have a plan which supports you in feeling more in control of a situation. Take it slow at first. Identify what routines you would like to incorporate and slowly introduce them into your daily routine.
Don’t expect yourself to follow the routine you created for yourself on the first try. It takes time and consistency to build a habit. A helpful tip: identify one thing you would like to incorporate in your morning and evening routine- start there, and start small..
Incorporate intentional activities that boost your self-esteem into your week:
One of the most common challenges with strengthening self-esteem is lack of motivation. Many times, your lack of motivation stems from a fear whether it be the fear of not accomplishing your goal, fear of the process, fear of change, and sometimes avoidance of the effort/time/emotions it would raise. With all that said, the good news is… you have every control over your actions. Pick a relaxing spot (your bedroom, park, rooftop), grab your favorite snack and/or drink, sit down and write down a list of activities that bring you confidence.
Here are some examples to get your wheels turning: moving your body(dancing, exercise, hot girl walks), pampering yourself (getting your nails done, putting on makeup, styling your hair), wearing clothes you feel comfortable and confident in, creating art, making music, completing brain games, fueling your body, volunteering-just to name a few! Once you have a list, be intentional with incorporating these activities into your weekly schedule.
Determine your anchor statement:
We all have those moments, days, weeks, and maybe even months where we feel low. It’s bound to happen and I want you to know that it is normal. These moments allow for us to grow. Sometimes, it’s hard for us to get out of the negative cycle of talking down to ourselves. Be proactive and create an anchor statement that you can repeat to yourself when you're having trouble being your own cheerleader.
The purpose of an anchor statement should act as a reminder to yourself. It can be a short simple statement such as “I am enough just as I am and I have all the control to define my worth,” or “This feeling will pass, it isn’t permanent. You are so deserving of love, especially for yourself.”
Surround yourself with people who celebrate your light:
This idea of protecting your ‘flame’ comes from Brené Brown, PhD., LMSW who created this concept of “Candle Blower Outers.” She described it as “your flame. It’s your soul. It’s your light. You need to surround yourself with friends who, when your light is shining bright, don’t feel the need to blow it out.” Your environment and the people you surround yourself with matter. It can have a heavy impact on the way we think, feel, and behave. Take a moment to reflect on who your support system is and ask yourself “Are they candle blower outers?” Reflect on ways you can protect your light: setting boundaries, advocating, or even ending relationships that no longer serve you.
Start Therapy for Self-Esteem in Washington, DC
Whether you’re going through a big life transition, or you are wanting better self-esteem in general, The Sterling Group is here to help. Life can be hard, and it’s even harder when you have low self-esteem and struggle to make decisions. You don’t have to do this alone. Get started with therapy for self-esteem today, with these steps:
Schedule a consultation using our contact form.
Check out our team of self-esteem therapists to see who would work best with you.
Start making the best decisions for yourself with confidence!
Other Services at The Sterling Group
Life is challenging at times. There are so many decisions to be made that seem like the biggest deals ever. They aren’t, and we’re here to help you recognize that. Whether you’re going through life transitions, navigating relationships, coping with depression symptoms, or trying to handle anxiety, we can help with it all. We also specialize in ADHD and executive function support, trauma therapy, and therapy for self-discovery. For those in relationships, we offer guided couples therapy to improve your bond. We would love to have you get started.
